really, really not news: bud light radio ads

When you resort to doing a sports post on a radio commerical about guys who are unathletic, it's time to take a nap and start the day over again, SPORTSbyBROOKS.

Doing a post on a radio ad that salutes the unathletic sports talk radio guy? A post on a radio ad? A hackneyed bit of a radio ad at that. Is Budweiser a sponsor of your site, Brooks?

Wasn't there a story about a 59-year old football player or something you could have written about? Oh, nevermind.

Say it with me ... F - I - L - L - E - R.

And not even good filler ... like those half naked women all over your site usually are.

this is just a lie

Some woman did a cartwheel on the Price Is Right. TMZ's headline: "Price" Contestant Flips Out on Drew Carey.

That's just misrepresenting a story. We were hoping to see Drew Carey violently assaulted after a game of Plinko gone awry. Don't mislead us, TMZ.

not news: britney spears buys coffee and reads a book

When you open a post on Britney Spears with the following sentence:

Britney Spears went for her usual Starbucks run (every hour on the hour) and of course was swarmed by the paparazzi.

You should immediately say to yourself, "This is not news. Why am I posting this? She does this every day. And it's boring."

And the answer to yourself would be, "You're right. I am not going to post this. Just because I have photos doesn't mean I need to use them."

Unless, of course, you are really Superficial.

tara reid owes bloggers some debt

A beacon of light that shows the power of blogs...Does this cunt Tara Reid even work any more? All we ever see of her is related to her being on some blog and doing nothing, often while wearing a bikini or showing off some new botched surgery.

Bloggers: You made them news. Perhaps it's time to let go.

~DListed~

about your new york profile

Pretty bleh.

But at least now we know Nick Denton loves black cock. Miles and miles of it.

“These were so cheap!” Denton’s boyfriend, a lovely African-American artist, begins to get ready for their next stop of the evening, a going-away party for Gawker Media managing editor Lockhart Steele, leaving to build his own
blog network with Denton joining an angel investment round.

Loves it.

Gists of the piece: Gawker's "top" writers make around 55k base, Denton's a bit arrogant and loves black cock, Emily Gould looks good in a bikini, Julia Allison somehow snaked her way into a half page of the article, and almost every writer's quotes make them seem painfully unhappy, Denton keeps Gawker as a vanity, and the main Gawker site is built around unfounded meanness (and isn't the most successful part of the company).

That Emily though. You have to admire how she got an extremely flattering picture of herself in the piece. You'd hit it.

unsexiest women

With a name like Snarky Gossip, you know that you're getting truly quality material.

The top 5 unsexiest women. Oh joy. Written by an unfunny woman whose idea of "snarky" humor is saying that Britney has "funyun pudge". A great read. In particular, a great read if you like things like slamming a door against your scrotum or trapping your labia inside your zipper.

Correction: An astute commenter has pointed out that Snarky Gossip actually just ran this post verbatim from a Maxim article on their Web site. We regret the error in not seeing that.

This isn't poor writing, this is just lazy blogging bordering on plagiarism; re-running the same piece written on another site? Verbatim? That actually sounds much worse than writing a bad piece.

journalism is hard if you can't read

A Socialite's Life reports on the CW pickup of blogger television fave Gossip Girl. Only ASL doesn't understand how the TV business works, reporting that Gossip Girl was picked up for a second season already.

The show was picked up for an extra 9 episodes THIS SEASON. Tough to be taken seriously as a journalist when you can't read an article correctly.

Then again, poor reading skills is part of the life of a socialite, so perhaps ASL is leading the life more than we realized.

stop the circle jerk

At what point in the short history of sports blogging did it become acceptable and trendy to start interviewing one another? Not that I am complaining, well actually I am, but these interviews do bring back fond memories of when the MSM did the same thing. Who can forget the time Frank DeFord interviewed Peter Gammons? Man, that was good stuff. And remember that crazy interview that Jason Whitlock did with Mike Lupica? Bet they'd like to have that one back!

I mean who doesn't want to know the inner workings of a guy who posts on announcers and broadcasters. The announcers and broadcasters aren't the news, the guy who blogs about them is!

And we were all just chomping at the bit to get an inside look at the guy who writes a football blog for ESPN. Shit, T.O. and Randy Moss aren't stories ... The guy who writes about them is!

Even better, we were all dying to know the secrets held inside the mind of a female (a female!?) baseball blogger? Man, I am so glad we got to the bottom of all that. I am just surprised the Associated Press didn't pick that story up, it's such a scoop.

Bloggers ... get over yourselves. The next time you see Rick Telander interviewing T.J. Simers, then you can feel free to start interviewing each other. Until then, let's remember that you are not news (or interesting).

a common question

A question we've been asked multiple times in the comments and over email is as follows:

"By linking to the sites you're trashing, aren't you just bringing more attention to them and driving more traffic?"

It's a logical question. But it's one that's easily explained.

If I like to a post and say, "Hello reader, check out this great post." You would go, "Oh, I trust hearst and see him as someone whom I would listen to. I will click and enjoy this link."

If I go" Hello reader, check out this shitty post some cunt wrote." You go, "I am anticipating not enjoying this post!"

It's human nature. Specifically, we're controlling the frame. If we say something sucks and then it does, you'll see the site for what it is. Traffic's relatively irrelevant unless you're afraid of people leaving your site and not coming back. But we know you will.

don't call it a cuntback

Britney's vagina reminds celebrity blogs of better days.

Exhibits A, B, C, and D.

From our new book How to Use Britney's Cunt for Attention and Profit.