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Pretty bleh.

But at least now we know Nick Denton loves black cock. Miles and miles of it.

“These were so cheap!” Denton’s boyfriend, a lovely African-American artist, begins to get ready for their next stop of the evening, a going-away party for Gawker Media managing editor Lockhart Steele, leaving to build his own
blog network with Denton joining an angel investment round.

Loves it.

Gists of the piece: Gawker's "top" writers make around 55k base, Denton's a bit arrogant and loves black cock, Emily Gould looks good in a bikini, Julia Allison somehow snaked her way into a half page of the article, and almost every writer's quotes make them seem painfully unhappy, Denton keeps Gawker as a vanity, and the main Gawker site is built around unfounded meanness (and isn't the most successful part of the company).

That Emily though. You have to admire how she got an extremely flattering picture of herself in the piece. You'd hit it.

blogtown reminds us of high school - pt 1

Blogtown is a lot like high school. Cliques, jealousy, and, in the end, you'll realize that it's all utterly inconsequen-
tial.

Bear with us. It makes sense. Bloggers are, for the most part, professionally and emotionally no different than an oily, attention starved teen.

The gossip kids are the theatre folks. They're all jonesing to be the star of the show and are endlessly supportive publicly. All the while, they despise and mock one another behind each others' backs. They need each other to make the show run, but they all desperately want to be the one in the lead role.

TMZ and Perez are, respectively, the king and queen of the clique of course.

The political folks are your A students. The teachers and administration love them. The best among them get on Fox News or CNN. These social climbers have the easiest jump to make. Unfortunately, all their time spent in Model UN and Junior Statesmen of America make them undesirable to even the most socially blinded woman or man. Even though Michelle Malkin's pretty fuckable, we imagine that, immediately after sleeping with her she'd rant about our premature ejaculation being the result of the shoddy liberal media.

Media bloggers sit in the cafeteria in their ironic t shirts, mumbling to each other about how stupid everyone else is. Life's all a big joke to these bloggers. But there's still an intelligence that allow some to advance professionally...if they can learn to function as normal people in society.

Clearly the girls from Jezebel are the lonely ones up front, eating their angries away while saying the head cheerleader is "way too thin". Cut yourselves to ease your pain, girls.

did you know queerty is about gay people

There are few things that disappoint us as much as the overly niched composition of blogtown. We've briefly touched on Jezebel and its status as a fairly unnecessary "women's" blog, already. But now, what about Queerty, a blog that's, fundamentally, another media blog, but it's totally gay!

Now don't misunderstand this, we enjoy the work Queerty does. But do we really need to be reminded of how gay everyone there is in every post? 7 out of the 13 posts on their home page, at last look, featured the words "Gay", "Cum", or a play on a homosexual term like "out".

Have we not advanced far enough as journalists and humans to think that you can run a gay-themed site without obnoxiously reminding the reader of it?

For as much as we may trash Gawker over the coming months, Managing Editor Choire Sicha is as gay as they're made but doesn't feel compelled to remind us all of it. Maybe that's why he was villified by a large number of Queerty's readers.

Our question posed to you: Can you run a "gay" blog without reminding the world of it? Or is that a prerequisite to build Chelsea street cred? Enlighten us.

how to start a media company

Hmm. Laurel Touby throwing an event on how to start a media company?

It should be, at the very least, subtitled "How to Bilk A Company Out of Millions By Telling Them You Have a Successful Media Company".

blind item bingo - b7

B - Which rambling media commenter is getting a shitstorm thrown her way due to a newly public affinity for smoking creative plants? The corporate world isn't pleased.

I - Which gossiper whose online persona is obsessed with vanity is "secretly" needy, trolling on MySpace for young honeys who read his site?

N - Which political maven desperately wants to leave her site, but can't afford to lose out on the attention whoring she does on it?

G - Which techie isn't wielding the power he thought he would and is only just a figurehead to the less attractive face and name running the show?

O - Which sporto spent a late night attempting to gain the favor of a female peer on AIM? Why can't we just stay friends?

Your guess is as good as ours.

and so we entered blogtown

The world of bloggers has become just as bad as the things they mock. You've noticed it.

Gossip blogs all repeat the same item, same joke. "Jessica Simpson is attractive," they say. "Now here's an absurd metaphor about how good-looking I am and how she wants to sleep with me." It's funny because it's so original. And if they're not doing that, it's twenty posts about how Britney Spears might not fit society's standards of sanity. Groundbreaking.

Sports blogs aren't any better. Here's a post about a stat that I read on ESPN.com. Ho ho a silly YouTube video. Point being, Grady Sizemore is the greatest player in the history of baseball. Here's a picture of an attractive girl that has nothing to do with the post. Link me please! Let's interview each other even though no one cares. You're really doing a lot to dispel the negative perceptions that the mainstream media has of the field.

Political blogs? Who gives a shit. I can't even read one of them without falling asleep. I'd rather have Bill O'Reilly offer to loofah me than have to read your insane-but-somehow-banal ramblings.

Media blogs don't do much right now. The world that they aim to mock endlessly is the same world they so desperately wanted to be a part of. But they failed as an Intern. Or an assistant editor. Or a copy editor. Maybe the EIC of their high school paper didn't pat them on the head enough. Who knows.

So that's why we're here, watching your blogs, and getting ready to call you out. Bloggers seek attention so desperately. But when you cast a light on them, they descend even further into the same cliche and same old punchline.

Most of you blow in some way. You just haven't seen it in writing yet.