really, really not news: bud light radio ads

When you resort to doing a sports post on a radio commerical about guys who are unathletic, it's time to take a nap and start the day over again, SPORTSbyBROOKS.

Doing a post on a radio ad that salutes the unathletic sports talk radio guy? A post on a radio ad? A hackneyed bit of a radio ad at that. Is Budweiser a sponsor of your site, Brooks?

Wasn't there a story about a 59-year old football player or something you could have written about? Oh, nevermind.

Say it with me ... F - I - L - L - E - R.

And not even good filler ... like those half naked women all over your site usually are.

not news: britney spears buys coffee and reads a book

When you open a post on Britney Spears with the following sentence:

Britney Spears went for her usual Starbucks run (every hour on the hour) and of course was swarmed by the paparazzi.

You should immediately say to yourself, "This is not news. Why am I posting this? She does this every day. And it's boring."

And the answer to yourself would be, "You're right. I am not going to post this. Just because I have photos doesn't mean I need to use them."

Unless, of course, you are really Superficial.

not news: lindsay lohan ate and stopped at a kwik-mart

People ... you have got to get a handle on this Lindsay Lohan obsession of yours. The headline alone for this post is the first clue that this is not news.

"Lindsay Lohan Still In Utah"

Why not write a post with the title, "California Still Warm"? It would have the same bearing on people's lives.

The body of the post is no better.

Lindsay Lohan went out to eat Italian and then made a quick pit stop at a local gas station.

This is the news that made you stop what you were doing and sit down and hammer out a post?

I'm Not Obsessed? Oh, but I think that you are. That or your blog just blows.

not news: vanessa minnillo picks up her puppy from the vet

Today's blogging tips:

Tip #1: Just because you have photos of a semi-celebrity, doesn't mean you HAVE to use them, In Case You Didn't Know.

Tip #2: If no one gives a shit about the person or what they are doing, don't post it.

Tip #3: And you DEFINITELY don't do it when some other site (Celebrity Babylon) has already done the exact same feeble fucking thing.

not news: britney buys jelly beans

While we know that some days it's hard to find interesting and worthwhile news to write about, wouldn't it be better to simply say nothing than to publish something that is mundane and pointless? Perhaps on days when the news is slow, it would be a better course of action to just wait out the cycle a little bit longer, hmm? Otherwise we end up with 256 words of fluff for a post that could have been summed up like this:

...here's Brit yesterday buying jelly beans at a mobile phone store and then later spilling her Frappuccino all over herself.

A post about Britney Spears buying jelly beans? Really? How would we have ever lived without this riveting piece of information?

Shame on you Dlisted. Your readers deserve better.