this is just a lie

Some woman did a cartwheel on the Price Is Right. TMZ's headline: "Price" Contestant Flips Out on Drew Carey.

That's just misrepresenting a story. We were hoping to see Drew Carey violently assaulted after a game of Plinko gone awry. Don't mislead us, TMZ.

blogtown reminds us of high school - pt 1

Blogtown is a lot like high school. Cliques, jealousy, and, in the end, you'll realize that it's all utterly inconsequen-
tial.

Bear with us. It makes sense. Bloggers are, for the most part, professionally and emotionally no different than an oily, attention starved teen.

The gossip kids are the theatre folks. They're all jonesing to be the star of the show and are endlessly supportive publicly. All the while, they despise and mock one another behind each others' backs. They need each other to make the show run, but they all desperately want to be the one in the lead role.

TMZ and Perez are, respectively, the king and queen of the clique of course.

The political folks are your A students. The teachers and administration love them. The best among them get on Fox News or CNN. These social climbers have the easiest jump to make. Unfortunately, all their time spent in Model UN and Junior Statesmen of America make them undesirable to even the most socially blinded woman or man. Even though Michelle Malkin's pretty fuckable, we imagine that, immediately after sleeping with her she'd rant about our premature ejaculation being the result of the shoddy liberal media.

Media bloggers sit in the cafeteria in their ironic t shirts, mumbling to each other about how stupid everyone else is. Life's all a big joke to these bloggers. But there's still an intelligence that allow some to advance professionally...if they can learn to function as normal people in society.

Clearly the girls from Jezebel are the lonely ones up front, eating their angries away while saying the head cheerleader is "way too thin". Cut yourselves to ease your pain, girls.

more on tmz and perez

Gawker has a fine post up charting the content TMZ and Perez Hilton each produced on Friday.

See it here and make your own contentions. We personally prefer TMZ due to its professional veneer and often ridiculous news-breaking skills (OJ tapes? Mel Gibson?). If you get a story from TMZ, far more often than not, there's truth and new content within. It's trash, but there's certainly a journalistic talent to what they do.

All that Fat Faggy Fawner Perez has done is get fake stories about Fidel Castro being dead. Unless you seek out pie-eating skills as a primary reason for why you would read someone's blog, we'd opt out of Perez Hilton.

But there's a reason this trash exists and lines the Endomorphic One's pockets with money and (currently) uneaten Snoballs. Some people out there absolutely love it...and old habits are hard to break.

a loose definition of celebrity

Being the industry leader in celebrity blogging with a television show, tons of employees, and readers starving for your content isn't something that comes easily. But there's certainly a bit of everlasting pressure for TMZ to make news. When you set the bar so high, stories about pop starlets buying jelly beans don't cut it.

So what do you do? Stories about Susan Powter, fake death rumors about MC Hammer, a picture of the woman who created the Pussycat Dolls, and Christopher Reeve's death...three years ago.

Items like sugartits unfortunately don't grow on trees.